Mystery and Lore of the Bursar

One of Mrs. Ricci's jobs as bursar is protecting the supply closet. Some say she possesses a stapler that seems to be made of gold red painted steel. Unlike other staplers in the building this one is impervious to damage even when handled by students. Unlike other rings staplers, the One Stapler is not susceptible to dragon fire drills. Unlike the other Staplers of Power – it bears no gems, but its identity could be determined by a simple (though little-known) test: when placed in a fire, it will reveal an inscription with lines from a rhyme of lore describing the Staplers:

Three Staplers for the Tech Ed kings under the auditorium,
Seven for the World Language lords high above in their halls of cinder block,
Nine for mortal men (and women) of Science,
One for the Dark Lord Principal in the Land of the Front Office.
One Stapler to rule them all, One Stapler to find them,
One Stapler to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor DHS where the supply closet lies.

The lines inscribed on the Stapler (the ones bolded in the translation above) were evidently also part of the spell that imbued the One Stapler with its power.

The corrupting power of the stapler is apparently stronger on individuals more inclined to evil and selfishness. This corrupting power also seems to grow stronger the closer the stapler is to its place of origin, the supply closet. The enigmatic Meg Ricci appears to be unaffected by the Stapler and even seems to have some power over it; when she uses the Stapler to bind pink deposit forms it does not make them invisible. When she enters the supply closet she alone is able to return bearing the paper clips and colored pencils others sought but failed to find.