Ask Jane!

Who is Jane?

"Jane" is The Dragon's resident expert in all things middle school. The following requests for advice were produced by actual MMS students, but their names have been changed to protect the innocent. If you issue to submit a problem or question to Jane, feel free to get an "Ask Jane" form from your English teacher or print off the attached form, fill it out, and drop it in Mr. Sorensen's or Ms. Warren's mailbox.

Ask Jane Column for November 2nd, 2007

Dear Ask Jane,

My cousins and I are going to Disney World over vacation. I am so excited to go, but I don't really like roller coasters. I'm a little scared, and personally don't want to go on them. But my cousins keep talking about how fun and scary the rides are going to be, and I just agree with what they say because I am not brave enough to tell them I don't want to. But at the same time I want to go on the roller coasters. What should I do?

~Shelly Roller Coaster

Dear Shelly Roller Coaster,

I truly understand your problem; I mean I too am deeply afraid of heights, and frankly do not enjoy roller coasters. But I do have some words of advice for you.

These people are your family, and I am sure that no matter what you are afraid of they will listen to you, and sacrifice some of their roller coaster time for you as well. Even if one of them does have the nerve to laugh at you, just shake it off and show them that you are not one to be made fun of. But I do know that you really want to go on the roller coasters even though you are extremely afraid.

Start out on the tiny ones first, and from their work your way up. We all have to take baby steps at first when we are vanquishing our fears.

XOXO,
Jane

Dear Jane,

I think I am turning into a dog.  And not just any dog, a Chihuahua !! The smallest and ugliest dog on the planet! You know, the dog that people laugh at when they see them in the purses of famous people.  What if I get stepped on?! I don't know what is happening to me, but all of a sudden I am shrinking!! I wasn't that tall to begin with but now...I can't even say how short I am, it is so embarrassing!  What do I do Jane? I know you can help me; you gave great advice to the guy with the hamster/girlfriend problem!  Please what do I do?

~Dog Lover

Dear Dog Lover,

I know that it might be a hard thing for some people to believe, but sometimes we psychologically believe some weird things. Now, if you completely and totally believe that you are turning into a Chihuahua , then you might want to go see a psychiatrist or the school nurse, but I can help you a little.

Part of your problem must be the ears; here's my solution: if you feel that your ears are growing too much, then you might want to check out some old family pictures or ask your parents about it. Chances are, it's just genetic, or your ears are doing some catch-up-growing from when you were a young child.

Your tail is something different, and it simply could just be a genetic disorder, or some strange type of scoliosis. If you are growing hair in some weird places, sorry to say, but that could just be puberty, or possibly another genetic disorder that you might want to consider having looked at.

The medical sciences are far more advance then they used to be, and you can definitely find an answer to your problems if you see a doctor.

XOXO,
Jane

 

"Ask Jane" Archives

Last Year's Columns
Issue #1, October 30th, 2006
Issue #2, December 6th, 2006
Issue #5, June 18th, 2007