APRIL FOOLS EDITION:
School Approves Teddy Roosevelt Musical
NEIRAD enilno edition
Mr. Clarke held a press conference this past Friday afternoon announcing his plans to write, direct, produce, and star in “Teddy Roosevelt the Musical.”
Mr. Clarke has been known to periodically dress up for his AP US History and Western Civilization classes as the historical figure featured in the lesson that day. However, when taking on the character of Teddy Roosevelt, he will not break character until the show is over. Clarke will dress and act like Teddy Roosevelt every day and will even be going to the extreme to get himself ready for the role. “I take 4 hour daily hikes to get into the strenuous life in which Roosevelt lived,” said Clarke. “I’ll know when I am in good shape when I am as fit as a Bull Moose,” Clarke continued.
To attempt to get himself in “bull moose” shape, Mr. Clarke is taking three weeks off before the production to travel to China as a chaperone with the China Exchange program; however, once the plane lands in Shanghai he will be taking a connecting flight to a remote part of Africa to go hunting.
Getting into character will be easy for Clarke, who looks eerily similar to Teddy Roosevelt. He already sports two of Roosevelt’s most distinct features, a mustache and glasses. However, Clarke will now be going to the extreme. He has vowed to only enjoy Roosevelt’s favorite cuisine at the time, which consists of buying a cattle farm for fresh beef and going hunting afterschool for other sources of fresh meat. Clarke will be holding casting calls over the next two weeks to fill supporting roles in the show. Rehearsals will be before school and after school for two hours each day. “I’ve been memorizing lines for weeks in preparation for my audition for the part of William Howard Taft,” said fellow history teacher, Mr. Keeler. Many teachers are looking to come out for the auditions, and in order to narrow the cast down, Clarke will administer an AP-US test to reward those who know the most about History.
Clarke had to meet with the Administration to approve the play and Principal Haron was all for it, with a few edits. Haron demanded that the Tudor Singers, led by Chris Andrade, be cast as the chorus for the musical numbers. The songs to be performed by the Tudor Singers are all original compositions written by Clarke himself, including, “Rumble in the Jungle” and “The Strenuous Life.” He will also be reprising “Tomorrow” from the show Annie. If all goes according to Clarke’s plan, the show will run the first week of June.
