APRIL FOOLS EDITION:
Bus-Driving Nona-Mom Gets Her Name in Record Books
NEIRAD enilno edition
The birth of one child is a marvel in itself, but the healthy birth of nine babies at the same time truly is a miracle. Ms. Wilkins, after nine hard months of pregnancy, has given birth to nine beautiful children. On March 2nd, 2011, Marianne, Parker, Slash, Reese, Ayn, Timothy-Treadwell, Jared, Phoebe, and Mara all came into this world with the last name Wilkins-McKenzie. A believed record on American soil, Ms. Wilkins is lucky to have all of her babies alive and healthy. Ms. Wilkins will be out for the rest of the year to take care of “her nine little angels” as she likes to call them.
After the babies were born, The Guinness Book of World Records sent a representative to check out the births. After extensive research about past records over successful births, Ms. Wilkins was handed her own page in the 2011 Guinness Book of World Records. The new record holder for most successful births at one time will travel to Switzerland in the summer to receive a plaque for her accomplishment. The page will also include pictures of nine babies. Ms. Wilkins is thrilled to be in the book, stating that “It is great that my kids already have been published.” The birth itself is still a mystery. The doctors just do not understand how Ms. Wilkins was able to hold nine children. Renowned physician, and the man who oversaw Ms. Wilkins’s c-section, Doctor Heron said, “We have no idea how any person is able to have nine children that are all healthy with no problems. The human body is not supposed to handle that stress; it truly is amazing that this has happened. I am very happy for her.”
The news of Ms. Wilkin’s nine little ones has been a pleasant surprise to many at the High School. Two of Ms. Wilkins sophomores, Feebee Kush and Matty Bown, were excited for the new mother. Matty said that he knew almost right away that Ms. Wilkins was having a baby. He said, “I knew when she started having extreme cravings for pickles in the middle of class.” Feebee said that “When Ms. Wilkins told us she had a big announcement, I immediately knew she was pregnant. she has always wanted children!” Although the pregnancy made class a tad more difficult for the two, they were always supportive of her. And after seeing pictures of the babies, Feebee thought that the cutest “[is] obviously Slash. [That] baby has got to have some spunk.” When asked if they would get gifts for the new children, Matty responded by saying that he would pay for police surveillance to watch over the children. He also added, “If anyone wants to donate diapers, baby food, clothes, or parenting lessons to the Save the Doomed Children of Ms. Wilkins Foundation (SDCMWF) call 1-800-HELP-US.” It is obvious that Matty knows the potential Ms. Wilkins has as a mother.
Ms. Wilkins is over the moon with her new children. Always an advocate for having children, she is looking forward to staying home and taking up the chores of watching over her new children. Her favorite chore is to drive the kids around; she says, “I just love spending time with my kids, anything I can do with them is just so enjoyable.” She had to sell her Range Rover to buy a small school bus so that she could fit all of her children in the vehicle. Although impractical, the bus is said to be “an easier drive” than her Range Rover. Her old car will be missed, according to Ms. Wilkins, but she looks forward to making new memories in the bus with her family.
Ms. Wilkins also said that another one of her favorite activities with her new children is reading them bedtime stories. Two of her favorite stories to read are “Sueños” by Dillon Duncan and 1984 by George Orwell. Of “Sueños” she said, “It is my favorite poem ever written, and I can only hope that my children grow up to be able to write poems like this. The author of this poem is a true genius.” She says she reads them 1984 to “educate them on the power of the government.” Sources close to the family said that once a week Ms. Wilkins gives them a quiz on the material to make sure that they are paying attention to their mother when she reads to them.
“The switch from being a teacher to a parent has been hard,” says Mrs. Wilkins, but she continued, “I just love dealing with young children, and I know that this is going to be a fun experience for me, my husband, and nine children.” When asked about the names of her children, she responded, “the children are all named after people who are special to me, and I hope that my children follow the examples of their namesake.”
