Once a year, some of the world’s best artists gather under one Swarovski-spangled roof to vie for small golden statues reminiscent of their industry’s birth. The Grammys are music’s biggest contest and attract loads of attention from celebrities, the media, fans, and even cynics (who isn’t painfully anticipating who wins Best Regional Roots Album?!). Winners get to beam their satisfaction live to a massive audience; losers leave vindictive (but still get to attend phenomenal after-parties…and lead glamorous lives). And even though winners are ultimately picked by the event’s super-selective founding group, The Recording Academy, the rest of us still get to speculate over who will leave with a statue or two, and who will be writing jealous Twitter rants later that night.
For the first time in DHS history, Neirad, with the help of Mr. Coppock’s Statistics Class, asked the student body who they think should win in five of the major categories. To find out the actual results, tune into CBS at 8:00 on February 12th. Or, if you’re too cool for awards shows, Google the winners the next day or observe trending tweets (see: #WhoIsArcadeFire, circa one year ago).
Record of the Year: The event’s most prestigious award, presented for best overall performance of a song.
“Rolling in the Deep” - Adele (35.9%) If you’ve ever listened to the radio….ever….you’ve heard the track “Rolling in the Deep”. You might have changed the station… but you still heard “Rolling in the Deep”. This song took off and catapulted Adele from the forgettable figure behind 2007’s “Chasing Pavements” into 2011’s irrefutable Voice of the Year.
“Holocene” - Bon Iver (6.6%) The Academy does a good job of messing with everyone’s heads by sneaking little-known indie artists into the most important categories. That being said, this track is freakishly emotional and altogether raw and very well could pull a Suburbs-esque upset.“Grenade” - Bruno Mars (9.9%) For some really unfathomable reason, the Academy has shown a lot of favoritism towards Bruno Mars. Some critics think it’s because he has an old-school style, and many voting members are old. Some of us really can’t understand it - after all, this song is illogical and sort of suicidal. Yay?
“The Cave” - Mumford and Sons (16.0%) A British band nominated for Record of the Year! Who would have guessed?! But seriously, this song is good, even if it did not reach as big an audience as other songs in this category.
“Firework” - Katy Perry (31.5%) One of pop’s princesses delivered 2011 its anthem for the underappreciated, and everyone who feels like a plastic bag. Which is apparently a lot of people, because it sold very well and got a lot of airtime.
Song of the Year:Presented to best written song.
“All of the Lights” - Kanye West, Kid Cudi, Rihanna & Fergie (26.7%) A collection of hip-hop superstars headed by Kanye West, who grabbed the most nominations this year. Also the only song not carried over from the category above.
“The Cave” - Mumford & Sons (21.1%)
“Grenade” - Bruno Mars (17.8%)
“Holocene” - Bon Iver (4.4%)
“Rolling in the Deep” - Adele (30.0%)
Album of the Year:
“21” - Adele (40.3%) Lacks creative title; has creative songs. Adele has a knack for sharing her angst in really nice ways.
“Wasting Light” - Foo Fighters (14.9%) Rock lives on! Sadly, it’s through the Foo Fighters.
“Born This Way” - Lady Gaga (19.3%) 18 million fans don’t call themselves “Monsters” for nothing… If Gaga doesn’t win, expect cyber shenanigans and outright outrage.
“Doo-Wops & Hooligans” Bruno Mars (8.8%) JUST LOOK AT THE NAME OF THIS ALBUM.
“Loud” - Rihanna (16.6%) It’s hard to differentiate 2010’s Loud from 2011’s Talk that Talk, but this came out of Riri’s redhead era: it was surprising and fun for a little while, but there’s only so much you can handle of something so weird.
Best Rap Album:
“Watch the Throne” - Jay-Z and Kanye West (35.9%) This album can be credited for creating two of 2011’s most popular phrases: ham and cray. Stocked with other hilarious/surprising lyrics, WTT deserves its gold-encrusted cover.
“Tha Carter IV” - Lil Wayne (16.0%) Most Lil Wayne fans don’t consider this his best work, but they’ll still root for him against perennial heavyweights Ye and Jay… Everyone else is still trying to get past the “tha” thing. It’s been four albums and he still can’t spell “the”.
“Lasers” - Lupe Fiasco (13.3%) It seems fitting that Lupe’s politically drenched album would drop the same year as Occupy Wall Street, the death of Osama bin Laden, and the US Army pulling out of Iraq. He’s clearly passionate about his Muslim background and the state of this country, which, coupled with his actual skill as a rapper, makes for a great album.
“Pink Friday” - Nicki Minaj (20.4%) Nicki and her legions of alter-egos all join together to make this Friday 2011’s best... take that Rebecca Black!
“My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” - Kanye West (14.4%) This has got to be one of the most creative and artistic rap albums ever created. If this had been given proper time to settle- that is, if Kanye hadn’t released WTT so soon afterwards- maybe MBTDF would have gotten the attention it deserves (for something other than its controversial cover art, that is).
Best New Artist:
The Band Perry (9.4%) Going to be honest… most people around here only know “If I Die Young”, and probably half of them know it from The Dean’s List remix. And the remix is better. But if sappy, corny family-bands are your thing, The Band Perry has it all!
Bon Iver (14.9%) Justin Vernon is the most creative individual on the planet. He shows you what it’s like to be human.
J. Cole (17.7%) Jay-Z’s musical apprentice took the rap world by storm last year with the release of Cole World, so maybe things will “Work Out” for him and he’ll win a Grammy. See what I did there?
Nicki Minaj (34.8%) Nicki is undoubtedly the most popular female rapper in the game right now, and a lot of people are willing to go further: best female rapper of all time. But there’s no category for that, so Best New Artist will have to do for now.
Skrillex (23.2%) 2011 was arguably the Year of Dubstep. Skrillex = dubstep = weird hair = what house party/rave is complete without him?!
The official Grammy website, for a complete list of nominees and categories: www.grammy.com
Last time Neirad investigated the music scene, it sounded like Blink-182: http://darienps.org/neirad/1111blink182.php
